Cultural Burnout: The Silent Struggle of Living Between Two Worlds

Moving abroad sparked a new chapter filled with growth, opportunities and self-discovery. What I did not anticipate was the emotional weight of returning home. I was not prepared for the challenges that came with navigating the shifting roles of my relationships, the guilt of not meeting expectations and feeling the effect of my absence.

Over time, ‘home’ began to feel less like home and more like going on a trip or vacation. Every visit, I was faced with the growing distance between me and my old life. The people, the places and the traditions that once felt like second nature began to feel unfamiliar and even misaligned.

In the midst of this shift, a subtle exhaustion began to creep in. It would take me weeks to readjust after a trip home, and I often felt mentally and emotionally drained in the process. I did not know what was truly going on until I came across the concept of cultural burnout.

What is cultural burnout?

Cultural burnout refers to the mental and emotional exhaustion that arises from prolonged exposure to different cultures. Navigating the differences in expectations, values, and norms of a new culture is just one side. Returning home to the culture I was brought up in but was no longer a part of brought an entirely new challenge that I did not anticipate.

The Unexpected Challenge of ‘Going Home’

When I began to visit my hometown after living abroad, I noticed the disconnect immediately. I have changed, but my family expects me to fulfil the same role as I did before. There’s pressure to attend every gathering, to say ‘yes’ to every invitation, because “you’re never here.” My need for personal space, something I’ve come to value deeply, is often perceived as rejection.

Julia, who moved from Germany to Ireland, describes the feeling perfectly: “Going home once or twice a year puts you in holiday mode, but when you stay longer, you realize how much you’ve missed. My family continued evolving, but in a different way than I did. I don’t even know them the same way anymore.” The longer you stay, the clearer the emotional distance becomes.

The Challenge of Changing Roles:

One of the most jarring experiences of cultural burnout is realising that the role you played in your family hasn’t evolved the way you have. In many families, roles are deeply ingrained and have been shaped by years of unspoken rules. But when you’ve spent time away, developing your own individuality, it can be hard for your loved ones to accept that you are no longer exactly the same person.

Viktorija, who moved from Lithuania, explained it as: “Who you are now threatens who I am. My family hasn’t changed in the way I have. Their life is still focused on the same things while my world has expanded. My goals have shifted. But to them, I need to justify why I’m different.” It is not just overwhelming to feel the expectation to conform but also to feel the guilt when you don’t.

Setting Boundaries Without Guilt:

One of the hardest lessons to learn when dealing with cultural burnout is how to set boundaries with love. There’s often little understanding that needing time alone doesn’t mean you love your family any less.

Michal, who returned to Poland after years in Ireland, shared how he tried to balance this: “In my family, individuality is accepted only within cultural boundaries. If I say I need space, it was at first looked upon weirdly, but with time and persistence, the family accepted. I’ve learned to phrase it as a joke, to lighten the conversation. But still, setting firm boundaries is an ongoing challenge.”

The key is to recognise that boundaries are not about rejecting your culture but about preserving your own well-being. Preparing my loved ones in advance by setting expectations about what I need or including them in activities that align with my new way of life helped ease the transition.

The Myth of the ‘Perfect Expat Life’

Another surprising challenge of returning home is meeting the assumption that because you live abroad, your life must be perfect, and you are not allowed to complain.

There’s little space for expats to express struggles or challenges with their loved ones because the perception is that since they have left, they have ‘made it.’ The reality, however, is much more complex. Many expats struggle with not fully belonging anywhere and are often faced with feeling out of place in both their home country and their new one.

Julia from Germany recalls feeling unable to express her feelings or problems she was facing with family and friends. “It was hard to understand for them because they did not experience this themselves and could not relate to the challenges you face when you live in a different country, in a different culture and work in a different language."

Finding a Way Forward:

Despite its challenges, cultural burnout offers a powerful opportunity for growth. Living abroad gives you the gift of seeing beyond the dysfunctional norms and traditions you grew up with. It forces you to examine what truly serves you and what doesn’t.

Michal put it well: “You can only see the dysfunctionalities of your home culture when you step outside of it. But at the same time, you have to respect that not everyone will see what you see.”

The solution is not to reject your roots, nor is it to place yourself above them. The real balance lies in embracing your individuality while still showing compassion to those who haven’t had the same experiences and honouring where they are in their own journey.

For anyone experiencing cultural burnout, here’s what has helped me:

• Set Boundaries – Protect your time and energy without guilt. Your need for space is valid.

• Don’t Be Afraid to Miss Out – You don’t need to attend every event just because you’re back home. Prioritise what feels meaningful and aligned to you.

• Stay Focused on the Bigger Picture – Your growth and evolution are valuable. Honour the changes in yourself, even if others struggle to accept and celebrate them.

Ultimately, cultural burnout is a sign of transformation. You have expanded beyond the life you once knew, and it may take some time to find balance in your new life. The challenge is in learning how to exist between two worlds without losing yourself in either one. Learning how to navigate two entirely different cultures takes time and patience. If this is something you are dealing with, go easy on yourself and allow for some time to move slower with fewer expectations. Cultural burnout may present itself in many challenging ways as you shift from your home to your new life, but behind them all are powerful seeds of growth.